I know that I’m probably the person most directly responsible for me not being in Montreal or New Orleans right now and yet I’m angry at every person in the whole world.

the great thing about eating pasta alone is you don’t have to cut the noodles and you can just shove it all in yr face at once and the sauce gets everywhere but you don’t have to care!

things about weight

Do you ever stare at a screen as you go to sleep with the intention of stopping as soon as you’re sleepy enough but then suddenly it’s 6am and you were never sleepy enough and how the hell am I going to go to sleep now???

methlabrador:

whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small.  you know the ones i mean. 

(via basicwitches)

thepensivebrony:

“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”

finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever

(via thekitegetsaway)

Listen, I put up with a lot of teasin from New York kids this year just cuz I’m from Ohio but y’all ain’t shit cuz when you’re typing your state, New York is like the sixth state that starts with N but Ohio is the first state that starts with O.

I save so much goddamn time typing my location and it’s GREAT.

When job applications are more like common sense tests combined with a mental health screening.

I watched like two hours of “How it’s made” videos on youtube last night when i couldn’t sleep and now all my recommended videos are how swiss cheese is made

no regretz

pavelchekovbodypillow:

reminder that literally every degree is useless because we’re all going to die and our entire fucking solar system is going to be space dust